Unfair and just wrong

I just found out that today is "Write to Marry Day" from my friend Jere's blog.

Since I only have 40 minutes left in this day AND since I wrote about my thoughts on Prop 8 already, I'm going to just leave you with this:

My Twitter Feed.

I started posting a tweet a day about why people should vote No on Prop 8. I also post other random tweets and I lost track of what number I was on, but still, 12 reasons to vote No on Prop 8. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR??

Don't eliminate marriage for anyone.

To me, providing equal rights to everyone isn't about providing special or better rights to a person. It's about being fair.

You see, it's not fair that I have the ability to go to the Clerk's office whenever I want and get married. It's not fair that I can visit my [future] husband if he were to ever be in the hospital with a fatal disease and my gay coupled friends can not. It's not fair that my husband and I would enjoy the thousands of benefits that comes with being married while gay couples are required to spend hundreds of dollars to create legal documents to enjoy the same rights. And sometimes, even these legal documents are not enough.

To me, marriage is more than just a religious ceremony and more than just a legally binding document (although, these are very important). Marriage is about joining the lives of two people who love and have chosen each other to spend their lives together. I have the freedom to marry whomever I want and it's only fair that this is extended to everyone--regardless of sexual orientation. To me, it's a basic matter of fairness.

I don't live in California. Maybe, some day I will. I only have a few friends who live there, gay and straight. This issue transcends the borders of one state. No one should be treated differently no matter what the issue. Singling out one group of people and denying them the freedom to marry isn't fair in whatever state you live.

We all expect to be treated fairly in every regard of our lives. Sometimes, we don't even know such fairness occurs. To many Americans, the freedom to marry is just a given, accepted way of life-it's taken for granted. But what about the thousands of gay Americans who don't have this freedom? The freedom to marry provides security, dignity, and respect for all. Everyone deserves the same freedoms and rights; from the right to vote to the right to live free, from freedom of religion to the freedom to marry.

What happens in California on November 4th will affect us all. Fairness and equality will either be destroyed or preserved.

As a straight, non-Californian, why do I even care? Because I can't fathom what it would be like if the government came in and took one of my freedoms away. I'd be pissed (although, you'd think I'd be use to it under our current "President"). As a single person, my marriage is obviously not being threatened by said government. But as a human being, my sense of decency and fairness is. As a mother, I want my child to live in a world where everyone is treated fairly. This is one step to creating a world I will be proud to leave her.

Look, I don't admit to know everything nor do I understand all the legalities that this issue entails. I do know what fairness is. So do you. If you, or anyone you know lives in California and believes in fairness for all, I encourage you to vote no on Prop 8. If you're already planning on voting no, go donate some money. Volunteer. Make some phone calls. They need it. This is a fight that you can be proud of investing in.

Don't eliminate marriage for anyone.

P.S. Make sure you're registered to vote. This election is the most critical one my generation (and the one younger than me) will EVER face. In California, you have ONE week to register. DO IT NOW.

Changing the Debate

Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest gay civil rights group, yesterday announced the first-ever televised presidential forum devoted solely to issues concerning lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender Americans, to be aired on Aug. 9 on the Logo network. "Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards and Christopher Dodd have agreed to participate in the forum, with questions to be posed by a panel that includes singer Melissa Etheridge and Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign." (All presidential candidates were invited, and the Republicans declined.) A May 2007 Gallup poll found that "public tolerance for gay rights" is at a "high-water mark" in America. This historic presidential forum is yet another sign of the country's shift, and is further evidence that Americans are rejecting the long right-wing campaign to attack and deny rights to gay Americans for political gain.

RIGHT WING STUCK IN THE PAST: As the presidential season heats up, all candidates should consider these notable shifts in public opinion. Yet while the American people are increasingly united on gay rights issues, conservatives are still playing to the religious political extremists. A comprehensive report by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force finds a "shockingly stark" divide among the candidates on gay rights issues, with several of the most prominent Republicans -- including Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), Reps. Tom Tancredo (R-CO), Duncan Hunter (R-CA), and former governor Mitt Romney -- opposing virtually all major LGBT issues. Former mayor Rudy Giuliani opposes the constitutional ban on gay marriage, and has supported civil unions in the past, although in April he announced his opposition to New Hampshire's new civil unions law. Only two of 19 presidential candidates support marriage equality for same-sex couples, though every leading Democrat backs partnership recognition rights, such as civil unions.

To join other GLBT-friendly Utahns in watching the debate, join HRC of Utah, The Utah Pride Center, & The Utah Stonewall Democrats at Club TryAngles next Thursday. Mention you're there for the debate for no cover charge.

Equality for all

The Constitution was written to protect the rights of the American people. The main charge of the Supreme Court (and all courts) is to uphold the Constitution and protect the citizens for which it was written. Throughout the history of our country, this document has been changed to ensure that every citizen has the full rights and protections as everyone else. In short, it provides for equality for all. Whenever an inequity among citizens has occurred, it has usually been rectified by the Constitution.

Our country has a long history of giving rights to everyone--it's the foundation for its creation. We also have a long history of excluding various groups from having full rights and equality. Whenever an inalienable right has been granted to the people, it has usually come from the Courts. This is mostly because the politicians in the Legislatures and Congress are afraid (for reasons we won’t discuss here) to stand up and make these policy changes the way our Founding Fathers wanted them to be set up.

Luckily for us, our Founding Fathers also saw the necessity to have a balance in government—a check on the three prongs of government by each other. This way, if one arm of government fails to protect its’ citizens, another one can jump right to ensure protection and equality for all.

Rome was not built in a day. And neither will the fight for true equality.

It may be uncomfortable for some to have the Constitutional fights in the court system rather than on the floor of Legislative bodies. But remember, the gay equality/marriage debate isn’t the first time this has happened.

Let’s look at the most forefront fights for equality so far: Civil rights for African-Americans.

While physical slavery was ended in 1865 by the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation, full and total equality for blacks did not occur until 100 years later with a slew of SCOTUS cases including, Loving v. Virginia and Brown v. Board of Education, etc. In a nutshell, the rulings in these cases paved the way for full equality for all Americans—no matter his or her skin color.

The same can be applied to the push for full equality in the gay rights movement today. In Loving v. Virginia, a white man married a black woman. This was deemed a crime in their state of Virginia and the two were charged. In Brown v. Board of Education it is shown that separate but equal facilities are unconstitutional.

Many in the gay rights movement claim that civil unions and other guises of marriage are the equivalent of separate but unequal status. In this recent New York Times editorial, the case is made that civil unions, although a step in the right direction, are an inadequate substitute for marriage.

I agree.

I do not discount the validity of the relationships of any of the gay couples I know; I know that they are committed to each other 100% and treat their relationship like a marriage, even though they are not legally wed. What I find annoying is the fact that, just because if I want to marry a man, I am able to go to the clerk’s office and sign a piece of paper granting the same rights and protections couples around the world share. For gay couples, it is a bit more difficult. They have to go to an attorney to create these papers. Although it’s a relatively minor step, it’s a step that I do not have to take. (And even with these papers, there is no guarantee these rights will be upheld by an attending doctor or probate judge).

Gay marriage is the most important ideal for the gay equality movement. For better or for worse, marriage is a social status and denying gay people this fundamental right is more than "just a piece of paper." (Hat tip: Adam). Even gay couples in long-term, committed relationships have their own kind of "marriage" to solidify this fact. If gay marriage is not so important to all gay couples, then why propose? Why hold a ceremony? Why wear rings? It is symbolic and an ideal they strive for daily. In short, it's equal.

The legal system is the only way to achieve full equality for all. Only with everyone having the right to marry who they want, no matter their gender, will these rights be full and true and unable to be stripped of meaning. The legislative branch is not going to step up and the executive branch can only do so much. It’s up to the Courts to decide this as they have a history of protecting the rights of all.

"Equal justice is not just a caption on the facade of the Supreme Court building. It is perhaps the most inspiring ideal of our society...It is fundamental that justice should be the same..." Justice Lewis Powell, Jr., Former Associate Justice, U.S. Supreme Court

This I believe is true (or why gays should be allowed to marry)

I have a secret to tell you.

I am not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

But I have been a gay activist for over 4 years now. I have fought for complete equality for all Americans because I believe in decency and fairness and most of all, love.

My quest began when I started working on passing an effective hate crimes law here in Utah that covered sexual orientation. It didn't pass that year (2003) but I did sit on a panel with a former ACLU attorney and a prominent professor of Sociology to discuss said hate crimes bill. After that, I went on to stop the unnecessary and discriminatory gay marriage constitutional amendment in Utah. Sadly, it passed.

I then got involved in many GLBT organizations and affectionately became known as "the straight single mom" in gay circles. I even applied for a couple of jobs at the local GLBT Center. Four boards and four years later, I am still fighting the fight.

I really do *heart* gay people. I believe that people should be allowed to marry whomever they choose--no matter their gender. I believe that no one should be discriminated against because of their sexual orientation. I believe that gay people do not choose to be gay but do choose the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I believe (much to the sadness this would bring me) that gays should be allowed to serve in the military (if they choose) with no repercussions. (I still do not believe in war, just for the record).

And today, it seems as though more and more Americans are agreeing with me.

According to a recent Gallup poll, 59% of Americans believe that homosexual relations between consenting adults should be legal. This percentage has fluctuated over the years. Before July 2003, this belief reached its peak at 60% since 1977. For the first time since that July (aka the infamous SCOTUS ruling on sodomy), it is now back up near 60%. This is awesome!

Since the beginning, I have said that the gay rights equality movement is the next civil rights movement. The fight is just getting warmed up too. Women did not get the right to vote overnight. Blacks were not considered full citizens and granted true equality for over 100 years. Gays, with their dominant presence everywhere, have no where to go but up. And up they'll go quite quickly.

The one sad part of the poll shows that 53% of Americans believe that gay marriage should not be valid. A note on this question says:

It should be noted that this gay-marriage question follows a number of questions about homosexual rights in Gallup's Values and Beliefs survey. When the same question is asked in other Gallup surveys that do not include such questions, a lower level of support for gay marriage is usually found.

So, the gay lifestyle is becoming more acceptable and more people believe that gays should have the same job opportunities as others but they are not okay with them getting hitched. Hmmm...

However, looking at the numbers, there is a definite trend. The more accepting of the gay lifestyle people are, the more likely they are to be supportive of gay marriage.

I think this trend has a lot to do with the rise of popular and accepted gay culture. Will & Grace helped start it and made gay people almost seem normal (shock and awe). The coming out of many prominent people--celebrities, politicians, sports stars--has not only forced us to recognize that gay people exist, it has also allowed us to have an open and respectable dialogue about the importance of true equality.

GLBT citizens are business leaders, parents, sons & daughters, PTA Presidents, legislators, Mayors, religious leaders, neighbors, doctors, friends, teachers and policemen. In short, they are exactly the same as us straight people.

And they deserve all the same rights that we enjoy.

For all the Gallup numbers, go here.