where have i been

I was only chastised for a moment on Inauguration night because I don't blog anymore. But I do have good reasons so here I am, sharing them with you.

First, I lack internet at home. Yes, I could purchase it, but i'm much too lazy after years of using "free" wireless. The fact that I had to move recently also has not helped my blogging efforts. I'm typing this on my BlackBerry which is not easy. Also, I no longer can blog at work. I actually have a job WHERE I DO WORK. Crazy, huh??

Second, I have found myself apathetic about politics. Like any good politician, i'm full of shit. I realized in September that I have worked for so long and got nothing in return. Because I never did anything for myself, I ended up getting screwed. I have long encouraged people from all walks of life to become engaged in the political process but have found myself over the last few months stepping farther and farther from it.

Third, i'm not seeing any real change. Yes, I was ecstatic on Tuesday and even cried a little bit. But the excitement didn't come until late Monday night. I've been searching for about a month now for an editorial cartoon by the Trib's Pat Bagley that showed 2 rabid Obama supporters wondering where the change is. His appointments are less than thrilling. Yes they are 1000% times better than Bush's people and yes they'll do an amazing job, but they are establishment people; Clintonites and real Washington insiders. I didn't support Hillary because she WAS the machine. I expected more from Obama and couldn't help but feel a little bit betrayed.
The tipping point for me was...

Fourth, the decision to terminate the 50 State Strategy. We Democrats have a problem: we're too busy playing defense that we never have time to play offense. Under Dean's leadership, we stuck it to them. We won in places (like Utah) where it wasn't possible to win before because of the massive grassroots efforts of the 50 State Strategy. This strategy worked. It was a huge factor in getting President Obama elected. I knew Hillary would have dismantled the project as soon as she was the nominee but I never expected this from Obama.

2008 was a great year for Democrats up and down the ticket (except for here in Utah but I'll get into that in another post). Barack Obama helped, but the groundwork was laid by state and county parties across this country. Full time, paid staffers in every state was a hard pill for many to swallow but they gave it a chance and by God, IT WORKED!

I've expressed these feelings with many friends who just don't understand. I know how hard it is to run a party and I know that it's not done by just one person. The beauty of the 50 State Strategy is that it required and demanded the help of everyone who cared about taking their country back. The decisions weren't left up to the party elders anymore. It gave people a reason to care about politics again and helped them see the Democratic Party was no longer sitting on the sidelines. We, as a party, stood up and fought back.

I worry about the future of our party. Our country is in very capable hands, just like it was when President Clinton was in charge. But look what happened after him. That was our fault--we were too busy playing defense and had no time for the offense.

I can't care anymore. I spent too much time and energy and sacrificed a big part of my life caring about the party.

I love being a Democrat and will always be one. Seriously though, we need to pull our heads out.